Job titles, promotions, certificates, medals, and hours clocked—these are just a few ways society measures success and achievement. Rewards often drive us, but the real question is: what truly motivates you?
One framework, Self-Determination Theory (SDT)1, explores motivation through our basic psychological needs of competence (feeling effective in our actions), autonomy (having control over our decisions), and relatedness (feeling connected with others). SDT outlines how intrinsic motivation, driven by personal enjoyment, and extrinsic motivation, linked to external rewards, differ. For example, you may feel motivated to work out because it makes you feel healthy and strong (intrinsic), or because of the validations you received from your social media followers (extrinsic).
Ideally, rewards should promote autonomy, allowing us to choose activities that align with our values, rather than feeling controlled by external expectations, which can limit us negatively. Over time, what begins as extrinsic motivation can also evolve into something we pursue for its internal benefits. However, external motivations often vary based on personality, circumstances, and the nature of the activity. The unique interaction between personal motives, interests, and cognitive factors means that motivation develops differently for each individual, shaped by a blend of these influences.
Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.
— Jim Rohn
Another way to view motivation is through the lens of meeting our basic needs. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs2, individuals must first satisfy lower-level needs before progressing to higher levels. This hierarchy starts with basic physiological needs and safety, then moves through love and belonging, esteem, and finally reaches self-actualisation and transcendence. Balancing these needs is crucial; if fundamental needs remain unmet, individuals may find it challenging to advance to higher levels of motivation and fulfil other needs.
This can be observed when unaddressed lower-level needs that impact motivation. For example, if someone desires greater belonging but hasn’t fully addressed their basic needs, they may struggle to move beyond these unmet needs. While some may advance to higher levels despite bypassing foundational needs, their motivation might remain unbalanced. Deficiency needs, such as financial stability, health concerns, and self-esteem, are often addressed before focusing on growth needs like personal potential and creativity. These factors can significantly influence one’s motivation and ability to achieve rewards and recognition, often causing individuals to feel stuck.
Fear, in particular, can be a major barrier to progress. Some are motivated by the desire to avoid losses rather than pursuing goals. When fear persists for too long, it can evolve into a fear of failure3, leading individuals to seek shortcuts, mimic others, or even resort to cheating to appear successful. Such actions only offer short-term relief, often leading to instability, erratic self-esteem, low resilience, stress, and negativity. Over time, the satisfaction and enjoyment derived from the activity can diminish, especially when driven by constant comparison and competition. This creates a cycle where external motivators become necessary to continue, resembling a rat race. Ideally, confronting and overcoming fear directly, rather than avoiding it, could diminish the need for external factors and foster a more genuine sense of achievement. Unfortunately, many remain unaware of how this dynamic impacts their lives.
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
We often get lost in the pursuit of these external rewards. However, by spending quality time in understanding ourselves better, we might realise that there is no tangible carrot waiting at the end. This process isn’t about self-grading or seeking validation from others.
While others may experience gains or losses in the spotlight, the inner rewards we receive are often quiet and subtle, shared only with those who truly matter. These rewards, though private and personal, offer a healthier and clearer state of mind, which we can return to daily amidst the harsh realities of the outside world. They support our growth and help us uncover and develop skills we might not have known we had. It’s crucial we take care of ourselves, especially when navigating these in-between spaces where the future remains uncertain. Internal rewards are far more powerful than those society expects from us.
Now, take a moment to reflect: What truly motivates you? Do you let these rewards define who you are? Consider using this as a journal prompt.
Remember, no one is judging you here. This exploration is all about what comes from within. Ultimately, embracing the journey of self-realisation reveals that the true reward lies in the growth and insights gained along the way, independent of external recognition ♡
Richard M. Ryan et al., “Self-Determination Theory and Physical Activity: The Dynamics of Motivation in Development and Wellness,” Hellenic Journal of Psychology 6 (2009): 107–124.
Helpful Professor Explains, “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (Explained in 4 Minutes),” YouTube video (2018).
Andrew J. Martin and Herbert W. Marsh, “Fear of Failure: Friend or Foe?,” Australian Psychologist 38, no. 1 (2003): 31–38.