tuning in. noticing.
reflection reveals the love already within
I find my way back to reflection every day, even if only briefly. It can be a few minutes of asking myself “How’s my day? What matters and what to leave behind?” It’s a small practice, easy to miss, but something in it keeps calling me back.
Practicing self-reflection, or you may call it noticing, realising, becoming aware, has shown me qualities I can now give myself credit for. Recognising the patience I have, the tolerance I hold, and the pause I took, especially in moments of challenges. The “not reacting” immediately is actually a blessing, not a weakness, or something closer to a quiet strength. I realise this is what it looks like to care for myself, to acknowledge the quiet strength I now appreciate.
To notice is to feel more honestly. The small moments of how I actually feel, both the good and the difficult. Empathy finds its way where it meant to be; if not, boundaries find their place where they matter. Gratitude comes more naturally when it’s felt in the moment, not saved for a list at the end of the day. Knowing it as it happens, “oh, this is good!” allows you to give thanks for what is genuinely good, right as you feel it.
Shifts like these show up subtly. They settle in gradually, coming into your life the way light changes in a room throughout the day, almost imperceptibly, and then all at once you notice the room is different. You begin to hold each part of yourself a little more gently, the parts you like, and the ones you ask for your patience. How profound that can be, and how little we notice it’s actually happening.
The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.
When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.
— Thich Nhat Hanh
What we often miss, in the rushing and the filling of our days, is that spending time with yourself is an act of love. Not self-indulgence. Not a reward. Love, in every ordinary moment of sitting with who you are. It’s where abundance lives, in knowing yourself well enough to recognise what you already carry. The additions are bonuses. The love has always been there, sometimes waiting underneath the noise, sometimes overflowing.
Loving yourself first isn’t the selfish act people sometimes assume it to be. It doesn’t take time away from others, and it doesn’t make you less available or less caring. If anything, the opposite is true. You have to believe there is more than enough to give, as long as you stop running on empty. You’ll already feel less tense even after a long day before you realise it.
When you know yourself well enough, you naturally want to express how much you love, and you know when you’re ready to give. Knowing yourself is the foundation not just for loving yourself, but for knowing how to love others too. You stop expecting others to fill what only you can. Not because you’ve asked for less, but because you’ve come to understand what you actually need. You have more room than before, and that changes everything.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
— Oscar Wilde
There’s no single way for reflective practices. It doesn’t always have to be meditation or journaling (though it can). Find the way that works for you. As long as you give a little honest attention; turning inward, holding yourself gently, and returning to it as often, however, and whenever you want.
This is the kindest consideration you can offer yourself. For some, it doesn’t come easily. But I hope it finds its way to more people.
Expanding love leads to more compassion. And it turns out, it’s also how we can love more.
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