just make something
one thing at a time
This isn’t about fixing the gaps, but what to do while you’re in one of them. When the time doesn’t go as you expected, the instinct is to fill it frantically or let it hollow you out. Neither helps.
What helps, at least for me, is making something. Anything, really. Make yourself a proper meal. Make a nice drink and sit with it for a while. Make a note, a mental one or a written one, of what you’re actually feeling underneath the noise. Small acts of care for yourself are not trivial. Think of these as rituals, small and daily, reminding you that you are here, still making something good for yourself.
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
— Arthur Ashe
Make good use of what’s available. Sign up for free online courses. Read local writers or borrow books from the library. Put together playlists filled with YouTube tutorials on something you’ve always been curious about but never had time to prioritise. It doesn’t have to be useful in any grand sense. It just has to be yours.
A playlist can also be a document of where you are. The songs you reach for when you’re processing something are telling you what you need; whether that’s to feel it fully, to move through it, or simply not to be alone in a quiet room with your own thoughts. Music has a way of meeting us where spoken words sometimes can’t.
Write about it. Put grief into words, as delicately as you want. It is not that easy, but give it a try. There’s something particular about writing that other things don’t do that well. It slows thought down enough for you to look at. It makes the formless take shape. Expressive writing, even just a few minutes a day, helps us process difficult experiences, reflect and find meaning in them. Start with whatever is there and it doesn’t have to be polished. Before you know it, something meaningful surfaces, not just for whoever might read it, but for yourself.
The idea isn’t to escape, but to redirect. It’s the simple act of engaging with life, even in small ways, when parts of your world have gone quiet. Time has its value. The hours you could have spent with someone who meant something to you are still yours. They don’t belong to whoever couldn’t meet you where you were. Fill them with something that grows inside out of you.
None of this is groundbreaking advice. I know, and that’s intentional. Filling gaps doesn’t need grand gestures or sweeping realisations. It’s simply what you do in getting through another day. That’s enough. No deeper meaning. No bigger purpose, just something for yourself.
One thing that comes up often during these gaps is that healing isn’t linear, and it rarely looks the way we expect. Some days you’ll feel like you’ve moved forward. Other days you’ll feel exactly where you started. Both are part of healing that comes with growth. The goal isn’t to feel better immediately. The goal is to be present with yourself while you remain patient.
The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.
— Leo Tolstoy
Just make something every day. Something small, something yours. The gaps may stay, but they don’t have to fill your mind all day. Make something worth having on the other side of this gap.
And the gentlest reminder I can offer: you don’t have to have it all figured out. No matter if you’re in the same place, no matter how slowly you move, it’s enough.
What do you make? I'm genuinely curious, drop them in the comments. ♡