I turned off Netflix and dimmed the lights, signalling to my body that it’s time to wind down. This unspoken ritual creates a moment I sneak in to be alone after a long day. While some find it settling to reflect on the day and check in with their feelings, I prefer to focus on what went well or consider what I can try again tomorrow. Lingering on unresolved moments isn’t helpful before sleep, so if I notice feelings like unhappiness arising, I try to breathe deeper and let them go. I remind myself that this is a time to nurture myself—with a creamy lotion, a lovely book, or simply by lying down in a few yoga postures and resting my eyes. It’s a small yet meaningful moment of intentional solitude.
Solitude doesn’t have to be isolating, but it can be daunting for those who are not used to spending time alone. With patience, the feelings of loneliness and any resistance will begin to lessen gradually. These moments of solitude require intention. We’ll start to truly enjoy these quiet moments, uncovering new perspectives on the day’s experiences, both the rewarding and the difficult. Sometimes, it may feel like there’s no way to make up for what went wrong. It’s natural for these thoughts to cross our minds, but taking a step back helps us see how our own and others’ perspectives shape our experiences.
Solitude is a place of possibility, a place to consider who we are and who we might become.
— John O’Donohue
Carving out time for ourselves provides the space to observe these words and behaviours with clarity. Treating ourselves kindly is necessary; it fuels our capacity to treat others with the same respect. Remember to believe in ourselves, rather than in what others might say about us. Over time, as we spend more time with ourselves, the demands of the outside world begin to recede, creating space for a greater appreciation of people around us. True solitude takes on a new, enriching quality, and can often be productive!
It’s easier than ever to get through daily tasks without engaging socially in person. As social beings, we naturally thrive on interactions, and maintaining connections with others remains essential. While solitude can be deeply fulfilling, too much of it can make reconnecting with others feel awkward or challenging, much like the adjustment period when first embracing solitude. Spending excessive time alone might lead us to dwell on negativity rather than recognising the benefits of solitude. That's why finding a balance is crucial instead of isolating yourself too often.
Spending time alone can sometimes make us feel as though we’re not doing enough. We may feel the urge to be productive, even during a time that's supposed to be for solitude, which can lead to restlessness or worries that we’re wasting time. If we find ourselves in this mindset, take a moment to reflect: are we really procrastinating, or simply allowing ourselves time to consider our next steps? Observing our own patterns without immediate judgement can reveal whether our solitude is constructive. Try to view these moments as valuable time to reconnect with ourselves, rather than an opportunity to critique our productivity. Embrace the space to explore a better approach, one that’s free from self-blame.
By shifting our focus, we can experience the benefits of spending time alone in ways that refresh our perspective and turn struggles with procrastination into opportunities for growth. Solitude becomes effortlessly restorative, helping us feel at ease as we move between quiet moments and social ones. Ultimately, it’s about knowing when and how to nourish ourselves, embracing the moments that serve us best.
time alone is not wasted. it’s a space that eases your days and restores your energy ♡